There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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