I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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