physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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