glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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