For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
