College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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