What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
