Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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