I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
