I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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