Do vagina's smell?
Farmville is her only friend.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
