He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize