I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think my mom watched the whole time
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize