what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
