Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
