I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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