i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
