Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
