I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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