You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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