I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
