What a fucking waste of an outfit
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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