You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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