Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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