left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
