Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
