Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
