Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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