do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I will pee on everything he values.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize