Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
