she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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