Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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