woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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