I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
