I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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