ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
