96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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