Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
