I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
