uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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