You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
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