Your tits are I can't wait for
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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