Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
