He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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