All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
