his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
