If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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