I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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