We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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