Someone shit on the floor
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
