I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is Oprah even human
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
