Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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