I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
