How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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