i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
