saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Boobs are out for the taking
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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