then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
They have beer where we have blood.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
