Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i don't like sucking hair
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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