He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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