My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
