This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
