Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
