Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
