Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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