I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
