the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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